I'm Not Me, Not Anymore
by Summergirl660
Summary: Belly has had a lot happen in the last week, a funeral, being sad, not telling anyone what happened. But what happens when she comes back to the place it all started?
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE.I DO NOT OWN THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY**

**_ From a peppy, over-dreamer, to a depressed, party animal..._**

_**I'M NOT ME, NOT ANYMORE...**_

**BELLY'S P.O.V**

Why can't I be happy? Why did everyone have to leave? Why am I coming back to were it all started?

These thoughts ran through my head as I tapped the steering wheel, listening to _Knives and Pens by Black Veil Brides._

I pulled into the driveway and got out, terrible memories flooded my mind. Seeing the house again was just too much. Maybe I could just get back in and-

"Belly!" Jeremiah exclaimed. "You're here!"

I sighed and took my huge black suitcase from the back. Yep I was here, and I hated it.

"Ya." I said, sarcastically.

"Woh, whats up with that outfit?" He asked looking down to my _Black Veil Brides_ T-shirt and black jeans. I shrugged.

"It's me, get over it." I said and walked inside carrying a big load behind me.

He followed me, quietly. I opened the door, and stepped inside, for the first time in a long time. It still looked the same, with its peeling wallpaper and Susannah-looking decor. Tears started forming at the corner of my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away. Its been 5 years before she died, so I'm 21, and I dropped out of college. Whatever, I got a few tattoos and piercings, who cares?

I saw Conrad sitting on the couch in the living room. His back faced to me.

"Hey, Connie, look who's here." Jeremiah said. Conrad turned to me.

"Woh, whats up with your outfit." He said. I grunted and walked upstairs.

I packed away quickly and wondered what to do. I looked around at my old room and sotted the stuffed animal Conrad got my so many years ago. I laughed, a cold hard laugh without any meaning behind it. I changed into my dark red swimsuit and didn't bother to grab my towl. I was about to open the back door but he stopped me.

"What is wrong with you?" Conrad's voice echoed through the room. He stood right in front of me, and I knew he wouldn't budge.

"What?" I asked, clearly annoyed.

"You got a tattoo?" His voice calm and cool, but his eyes looked worried.

He was looking right at my stomach, on my skin lied a bright red broken heart with blood dripping from it.

"Yep, I did. Now, can you move?"

"Why?" He asked, his voice sound hurt.

"I wanted to!" I snapped, then felt bad.

The truth behind the tattoo was not because I wanted to, but it was because it was what I felt after Susannah left. The pain and tears all went away with that tattoo. For a little while at least.

I tried to move away from him to get outside, but he blocked the way, like a body guard, big and strong.

"You know, you weren't the only one who cared for her!" He screamed. "She was my mother!"

"Conrad, I have no one left." Tears started swimming in my eyes. "My mother died, so did Steven, so did Susannah."

His eyes began to turn to a more softer shade of brown and his anger disappeared. I never told him they died, it happened a week ago. I can't even cry, I'm just a hard shell, hard to crack. I never wanted to tell them, I never wanted to come back. The memories are just too much. My brother not letting me do anything with him. Susannah always being there for me. Mother always laughing and having fun

"They died?"

_"Belly. Get down here! Were going to be late!" Mother cried from downstairs._

_"One sec!" I screamed "I'm coming!"  
_

_I ran downstairs in a short tight purple dress.  
_

_"You look beautiful" My mother said, crying. She walked over and gave me a tight hug.  
_

_"Mom," I wined, "stop."  
_

_Steven came running downstairs.  
_

_"Come on. We are going to be late for the dinner party." He said, running out of the house.  
_

_He got in the front seat and I got in the back, my mother driving.  
_

_Mother turned out of the driveway and down the street. Mother never stopped at the stop light, she kept going.  
_

_"Mother! What are you doing?" I said.  
_

_Blue lights were flashing behind us.  
_

_"Mom! Stop! Pull over!" Steven said.  
_

_"Shut up!" Mother screamed. " I wanna be with Susannah!"  
_

_Thats when we hit it. The front was crushed, and I was crushed in the back, too. It all happened in seconds, I didn't know what was going on. But then I realized, Mother hit a car in front of us. Steven was in front of me, not moving.  
_

_"Steven?" I asked.  
_

_"Belly?" A low whisper came from my brother. "I love you." He said as he slipped away from this world.  
_

_"Steven! Steven! Please don't leave!" I said, in between sobs. "Don't leave me!"  
_

_"Is anybody okay in there?" A loud voice came from outside.  
_

_I kept screaming 'yes'. Heavy sobs came from me because I knew my family didn't make it.  
_

_"I love you." I whispered to my family, as they carried me away from them.  
_

**OK! It's done. like it? I cried at the end as I was writing it, I was like:**_  
_

**"Breathe, breathe, its just a story, breathe."**_  
_

**Anyway, hope you review!  
**

**~SummerGirl  
**


	2. Chapter 2: the pain

**Chapter 2!**

"Mmm-hmm" I said as I past him.

I ran and jumped in the pool. Water surrounding me as I did each lap. I swam for what felt like hours. It felt so good just to get away from it all. I just wanted to get away from it, not for a minute, but forever. Sometimes I wish I could be with my brother, Susannah, and Mother. I wish I was able to laugh. I wish I could love. I wish I could have friends. Ever since Susannah left Taylor stopped talking to me. That made everything even worse.

I dropped out of collage the second semester. Mother got depressed, then she killed herself, and my big brother. He ment everything to me, he always had my back. Even though we fought, he looked after me.

I needed air, so I slowly swam to the top. I gasped for air when I come up, and started doing laps. I was kicking hard when I felt something solid. I looked at what I kicked, and realized it was Conrad. The boy who stole my heart and stomped on it, time after time. He looked at me with huge sad eyes. I felt sorry for him, but mostly I felt happiness. I mean, he finally showed an emotion!

"Hey," he breathed finally breaking our silence. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I didn't want to tell you." I said, a single tear rolling down my cheek.

"Dammit, Belly," He said a little louder. It kinda shocked me. But then again, this IS Conrad, hes so unpredictable. "Why wouldn't you tell me!"

"Stop." Jeremiah emerged from the simple house that held a lot of secrets. "You two always fight. Please just _stop_."

"Shut up man." Conrad said standing up and walking closer to him. "Stay outta this."

I've seen them fight, but not out of anger. Just for fun, and when it got too serious, they broke it off. But I don't think this is the case right now.

"I hate you, Conrad. You always hurt her." Jeremiah yelled, furious.

I realized this wasn't Jeremiah. This was some boy that was a little mad, not my best friend for all of those years. At least I hoped.

I didn't think Conrad saw it coming, because of the way his body jerked back. Jeremiah's fist connected with his perfect face so quick I thought it was a dream. But it wasn't. It was real. I gasped.

"Jeremiah!" I screamed. He looked at me with a shocked face. He couldn't believe he did that ether. Conrad. He just stood there. But I guess he figured out this was real.

He threw his fist into Jeremiah and soon they were on top of each other. I got out of the pool and ran to them. I slipped and fell, hitting my head. Hard.

"Go get the first-aid kit!" Someone yelled. Suddenly I blacked out.

_~~SummerGirl~~_

**Conrad's POV**

We were fighting. Me and my brother. I still couldn't believe it.

I looked over for a second and saw Belly on the ground.

"Go get the first-aid kit!" I yelled to Jeremiah who saw who I was looking at. I rushed to her side.


	3. Chapter 3: The love

**Chapter 3!**

**Okay, I'm sorry if I don't update soon, but I'm working on 2 other stories for the summer I turned pretty but there not up yet.**

**Okay this chapter is REALLY lovey-dovy. But not 'that' lovey-dovy.  
**

**I'm really bored. PM me? Please? Tell me any ideas you have about this story, or if you want me to review/read one of your story's.  
**

**Conrad's P.O.V**

"Belly please wake up, we need you." I spoke softly to the girl of my dreams. "I need you." Tears were swimming in my eyes.

I need her. Shes my world. Why do I wake up everyday? Belly Conklin. I so badly want her to be Belly Fisher. By my doings, not Jeremiah.

"Here I got it," Jeremiah ran up to me. "Is she okay?"

"What? Oh," I said and looked down at her soft face. "Yea. Shes doing fine."

I lied. I didn't think she would wake in the next hour. The thing what really bigs me, is her smile. It's like she feels at home? No, more like she _belongs _where ever she is.

"We can't lose her, man. Shes..." He started, but couldn't find the right word.

"Perfect." I finished.

He nodded. "Yea, perfect."

"I'm gonna go inside to use the bathroom," I said and got up and left.

**Jeremiahs P.O.V**

I loved her. Ya, I said it. Shes the girl of my dreams, but shes the girl of Conrad's dreams, too. Even if he doesn't admit it.

Her delicate eyes fluttered open. In that moment I released a huge breath that I didn't even know I had.

"Jeremiah?"

"Yea?" I stared into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Wheres Conrad?"

There it is. The two words that broke me down. Pushed me against the wall and walked away. I dreaded those words, so, so much.

I bent down a little farther and kissed her. She pushed back right away.

"You're my friend," she said. That crushed my already-broken-heart even more. "I don't think of you that way."

I nodded and got up and walked away. It started to pour as I was walking away.

**Conrad's P.O.V**

I walked into the kitchen and sat down. Jeremiah walked angrily passed me.

"Dude, whats up with you?" I asked.

He just looked outside and walked away.

Confused, I walked to the door. The unpredictable weather changed from sunshine to dark, pouring rain. I noticed Belly at the beach, staring out into the miles and miles of ocean. I opened the sliding glass door and walked out, sliding it behind me. I walked to her and took of my jacket and rapped it around her. I looked at her, her face emotionless.

"Help me." She said as her face buried itself into my chest, crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I was confused, about everything. She wasn't who she was last summer.

"Why am I so sad?" She asked. I kissed the top of her head. I hated seeing her so sad. "Why don't I have anyone left?"

"I don't k-know."

"I miss them." She said. "We had such a great time here. I always wanted summer to come back. So I could come back here."

I nodded, I felt the same way.

"I love you." I said. "I will help you."

I kissed her and she kissed back.

"I love you too." She said. "Forever."

"Forever." And we kissed again.

I finally felt alive.

_ The End_

**Sorry for the short chapter. I read this book called Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. ****theres a book you should try! Anyway,**

**~_SummerGirl_  
**


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